Frozen Embryo Transfer was scheduled to be on Sat. 1/12/2018 after 4 months of preparing my uterine lining which was shrinking and resisting being above 5 mm after the egg retrieval on 8/8/2018.
I was put on bed rest this cycle after transferring 3 frosties.
Transfer Day 0dp5dt: After getting back from hospital I drank the pomegranate juice that i previously prepared, ate one piece of the pineapple core with couple of its meat slices. I also had MAC French fries on our way back home as i heard before that it brings good luck in your transfer day. All this kind of crap I did, just hoping for the best and trying to have some happy moments. Slept well at night.
1dp5dt: super tired and dizzy, can’t open my eyes or even get my head up the pillow, took all these as a good sign, as if I am already pregnant and this tiredness is from pregnancy (so stupid)
2dp5dt: Started to have twinges on my right side of the uterus, squeezed the internet to know if it is a good sign to have twinges on the right side rather than the left side. Can’t read or watch the TV as I cannot open my eyes in the slightest light.
3dp5dt: Feeling tired, dizzy and sleepy even more which convinced me I am preggo, so bravely i took a home pregnancy test in the afternoon and it was … NEGATIVE … a big fat negative. Hold myself together, maybe because I took the test in the afternoon, I will take it again tomorrow morning. I thought staying in bed would be something difficult, well, actually I can’t even get out of bed even if I want to
4dp5dt: So tired that I can’t get off bed, POAS (peed on a stick) again at 10 am and again … bfn … how can it be negative with all this tiredness, sleepiness, being hungary all day. After googling all these symptoms i was sure it is just the progesterone side effect.
5dp5dt: No i didn’t take the hpt again, I thought I should be smart this time and give the HCG that magical hormone its time to show up in urine. I will take the test tomorrow as per Google most women took it on 6dp5dt and got their either bfp or bfn and whatever shows on 6dp5dt will be on the beta test. So this day I just tried to chill out, got out of bed, added some Christmas decorations. Still with headache, so nervous and irritated, insomnia at night
6dp5dt: Yep … another BFN, took the twice. Devastated, wishing to die, feeling this is it, this is the end of the world, I will never be a mom, crying my heart out, texted my Dr. and asked him if this means I am out as all women I heard and read about whatever the test said on 6dp5dt was there on their beta day whether positive or negative, he replied “wrong” …whatever … this cheered me up a little. I will never POAS again, I will keep this faint hope inside me, because i am sure if I POAS again it will be negative. Period cramps started to show up at night with strong twinges on the right side, no sore boobs still (weird)
7dp5dt: More intense period cramps, as if it will come now, white creamy cervical mucus, getting the feeling of the period all the time down there, went to the bathroom many times just to make sure.
8dp5dt: All period symptoms, I am 4 days before period official day and all its symptoms is here by book, I mean, Marianne’s period symptoms, by this time I know I am constipated, but afterwards, maybe in two days I know I will have smooth bowels. No sore boobs still … I am sure I am out …
9dp5dt: Woke up happy, period cramps are lighter now, and AF didn’t show up, When I was hit by an idea … AF will never show up as long as I am on Progynova, so I cannot take this as a good sign. Had a panic attack at night (because of Manar sad news) which made period cramps getting stronger. Now we are all (mom and husband) well prepared to the bfn. Actually they are, me still have this fainting hope, but it is there. I also had a dream last night that my beta came out to be bfp, and that gave me the strength and brightness to complete the day, before getting the news that one of my sick girls (a stray kitten but she’s like a daughter) passed away due to colopexy
10dp5dt: Feeling so down and desperate, I will go tonight to test and will get the results by tomorrow, took my injections and yeah I will miss those painful injections, I have a strong feeling I am not pregnant and this beautiful dream is over. I took a nap though and had a brief dream about the BFP. Today’s symptoms are minimal AF cramps.
I got the news that my girl – Manar- passed away in the boarding. On 1/12/2018 while I was heading to the hospital for my FET I noticed that she was suffering from a weird diarrhea, that she was all wet from behind, I got her soft food to eat as she didn’t seem to be able to eat the dry food like the rest. When I got back from the hospital, she was still all wet from soft stool from behind, ate some soft food and couldn’t bear my hands trying to clean her from behind.
The Family Diary 